


And Till They've Seen The Light

by Memories_of_the_Shadows



Category: Dragon Age - All Media Types, Dragon Age: Inquisition
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Crack, Crack Treated Seriously, Dragon Age: Origins - Witch Hunt DLC, Gen, Humor, It gets the job done, Stabbing Things With Swords, The Veil (Dragon Age), references at least
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-21
Updated: 2019-03-21
Packaged: 2019-11-26 18:41:08
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,294
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18184316
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Memories_of_the_Shadows/pseuds/Memories_of_the_Shadows
Summary: “What can Templars do against amagicrift in theVeil, stab it?”  Josephine laughs lightly at the Herald’s joke, Leliana deigns to smile and even Cassandra rolls her eyes in concession to the point.Cullen says, perfectly sincere, “well, yes, of course.”





	And Till They've Seen The Light

**Author's Note:**

> The title is from "Send The Marines" by Tom Lehrer.

“What can Templars do against a _magic_ rift in the _Veil_ , stab it?” Josephine laughs lightly at the Herald’s joke, Leliana deigns to smile and even Cassandra rolls her eyes in concession to the point.

Cullen remains serious, and doesn’t even seem to understand that it is a joke. Josephine fights the urge to check his temperature, surely such seriousness is due to ill-health? These Fereldens, so dour all the time, it makes her long for Antiva, or at least Val Royeaux and the Grand Game. Cullen says, perfectly sincere, “well, yes, of course.”

The Herald is not particularly attractive with a mouth hanging open like that but Josephine prays that such occurrences will be few and far between and will occur nowhere _near_ Val Royeaux. Surely Cullen will admit to a better sense of humor than she had previously credited him with any moment now. Even Cassandra, Cullen’s most sincere ally in this, is looking uncomfortable with this persistence of his. Josephine rolls her eyes discreetly at Leliana, wanting to share the joke, only to have her friend stare unblinkingly at the map on the table and not meet her eyes.

“Cullen, are you feeling quite well? Do, do you need to discuss something with me?” Cassandra asks, laying a hand on his shoulder. Josephine would like to know the same thing. There is a contingent of minor Banns coming who want to meet the Lion of Honnleath and she’ll need to reschedule that if the man is sick.

“I am perfectly in control of my wits, do not look at me like that Cassandra.” His voice is tight with upset. “If the Hero of Ferelden may seal several rifts in the basement of Kinloch Hold only with the aid of a sword I do not see why the whole of the Templar order may not do the same with one larger one.”

Josephine nearly drops her quill, and certainly splotches ink on the minutes she was taking idly. She stares at Leliana, who is still avoiding meeting her eyes, searching for an answer. “Is this true?”

Leliana shrugs uncomfortably. “I, ah, was not in attendance? But the subject did come up, um, in several letters. But you must understand, sometimes the Warden is given to… exaggeration, shall we say? I thought very little of it.” She glances at Cullen and adds, “at the time.”

“‘Stabbed the Veil closed?’ Ha! Wait until I tell Solas. I want to see his face. It’ll be perfect, maybe Sera can come and draw me a picture, after, she’ll love it,” mutters the Herald, and Cullen makes an offended noise almost on par with Cassandra’s. _Warriors_ , the lot of them. What Josephine wouldn’t give for a proper chevalier amongst them, someone happy to attend to the bloodier aspects of the Game while striking a dashing figure in armor.

“Weren’t you in Kirkwall by that point, Cullen?” asks Leliana, thank Andraste she sees sense finally, perhaps they will at last disprove this farce and they can get some true work done.

_Maker_ , but do all Fereldens look like kicked puppies when they are hurt? Dangerous. Perhaps she can use that? Cullen’s face is a picture. “Why does no one think I might have people who write me?” Cullen says, a slight whine to his tone not dissuading the mabari pup comparison in the least.

“Ah,” Leliana winces very faintly, and Josephine tries not to do the same. He’s just so very _dour_ , it is difficult to imagine him having friends. Also, she’s seen his idea of letter-writing. She’s read more exciting lists of supplies. “My apologies?”

“Thank you,” he says, still looking more like a mabari pup than a human. “Why does everyone think it’s a joke when I say it? I thought this might happen. No one ever believes me.”

“I will admit, the Warden did many unbelievable things when I fought against the Blight. Had I not been there, I might have thought many of those were jokes as well.” Leliana is very good at soothing ruffled feathers, if only she used that skill more than her legion of assassins. Cullen has almost returned to normal. Josephine is relieved by that at least, as she _refuses_ to coo over the commander of their forces like he were an adorable animal, no matter how puppy-like his face can get.

“I suppose.” The Herald is far too wrapped up in plans to capture Solas off his guard enough to allow Sera a good enough look at his face to paint to pay them any more attention, so Josephine gives this war council up for a loss. Perhaps tomorrow they may resolve this. “I have the letter? If that will help convince you?”

Of course he keeps all his correspondence. Cullen is just the most impractical practical man Josephine has ever met. “I would like to read it, yes.” He agrees to bring it to her in her office later and they disperse, the Herald very nearly bouncing out. Josephine feels very sorry for Solas now.

It takes longer than Josephine expected for Cullen to present the letter and she feels uncomfortably like she is insulting him again. Just because she thought he wouldn’t have nearly that much to sort through does not mean anything! The thing is creased and yellow, but still legible:

_Cullen, you’ll never guess what that one really clean mage, you know the one, Flora something or other--Andraste’s perfect arse, he’s got too many names--did the other day. The Hero of Ferelden was here again, so exciting, but Flora showed ‘em around the basement, I think they and this rather intimidating elf were going to talk to that creepy statue. You know the one. Anyway, the basement had all these holes in the Fade--again, I know, I swear there’s something wrong down there--so I wasn’t supposed to let anyone down there but the Hero saved this entire sodding tower so I was hardly going to say no, was I? Anyone can handle themselves it’d be the Hero. So I let Flora and them down there and you know what the little bastard told me after? That the Hero and them just stabbed the Veil closed so’s the basement’s clear now. Of course I had to check it, but the clean little thing was telling the truth. Strangest thing too, normally those holes open up like once a week but we haven’t had one since. Is Kirkwall just as strange? Write me sometime. --Hadley. PS: try not to make it sound like mission report you daft man, I know you know how to write better than that._

“Oh,” she says after reading it several times--and not laughing at the postscript only with great difficulty--“I don’t suppose you know where this Flora or the elf is?” Confirm from multiple sources as it were. Perhaps having a backup to the Herald, which would be ideal if Josephine allows herself to think on it too closely.

“Florian left with the Hero and never returned, but he never was transferred to the Wardens either, not like Anders. I think there were a few attempts to hunt him down using his phylactery? Nothing turned up, though it was still active before the Mage-Templar war as far as I know.” If it were anyone else, Josephine would suspect an elaborate prank, but Cullen is just so _earnest_. She kind of wants to pinch his cheeks. (Oh dear Maker, she is turning into her mother…)

“I’ll ask Leliana,” she assures him, head still full with the idea that they might not have to rely on one person with a barely understood ability after all. Stabbing the Veil closed. Truly the Maker is mysterious in all His ways.

**Author's Note:**

> This is in part inspired by [this post](https://moonlacer.tumblr.com/post/183203253717/josephine-and-leliana-maybe-we-should-ally-with) and partially by my warrior playthrough of Witch Hunt. I was so surprised and tickled to see how my warden dealt with the fade rifts in the basement, I knew I had to share it. I did try to keep the Inquisitor and the HoF as gender, class, and race-neutral as possible because this exists nowhere in any of my timelines so it could be in _any timeline_ *cue evil laughter*. Josephine's POV because why not? And, yes, I do want to see Solas' reaction to the HoF stabbing the Veil closed, Bioware, if we could add that to my wishlist for DA4? I love Cullen, but I couldn't help but poke a little fun at him too, because he's just so serious all the time and I really needed a straight man. In the humor sense at least, I'll leave the other sense a mystery ;D
> 
> Come visit me at my [tumblr](https://sachinighte.tumblr.com/)!


End file.
